Redefining Me

People who know me know how bad last year was for me. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I got stuck in a fog and I wasn't sure how to get out of it. It didn't matter what I tried, I was stuck and I didn't know where to turn. Negativity surrounded me and I couldn't see any path that led to anything good.

In September, I deployed for the Red Cross and it helped some. I got to put a few things in perspective and I got to take a step back. I started to see a little light at the end of a very long tunnel. When I went home, the darkness started to close in again.

In January, I made the decision to deploy again. This time, I stayed longer, much longer. It's now the middle of February and I'm still here. I miss home a lot and I miss my kids terribly, but I need this time to redefine myself.

I'm still me, but I'm making a few upgrades. My Aunt Peggy passed away a few days ago. Losing her was hard. She was always the one to tell me to suck it up and take care of business. Somewhere along the way last year, I let people get the best of me. That won't be happening anymore.

Von Harting and Wes Kirkwood have done their utmost best to drag me down. The sad thing is, I let them do it. It's gonna be a hard path, but I'm fighting my way back to the top. They won't like me much when I'm done.

It's nice to live in a perfect world as long as nobody throws any stones at you. Karma is a bitch and it will get anyone who maliciously hurts another person, intended or not. It's not up to me to pay them back for everything they have tried to do to me. I'll let God take care of that, and the attorneys. Yes, attorneys will be involved.

With that being said, I'm putting last year behind me and looking forward to a brighter future. I will succeed. I will flourish. I will survive. I will forgive, but I will NEVER forget. 

As I look to the future, I know last year took a toll and a full recovery will take time, but I will get there. I will have an even better life than I did before and I will shine like the brightest star. Working with these families gives me hope. If I can help them, I can help myself. It will take time, but I will get there!


 

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