It Isn't Your Choice

 It Isn't Your Choice

A close friend of mine's significant other made the tragic decision to take her own life. I feel for the man, I really do. Endless hours of second-guessing and always wondering why. Screaming at their picture and desperately asking why. You know they can't answer you, but you hope beyond hope that somehow you will get a sign that will help you understand why.

When someone makes the decision to commit suicide, it is their choice. You can talk them out of it once, twice, maybe even three times. But, if it's what they want, they will find a way to make it happen regardless of you and your attempts to save them.

Surviving the loss of someone who chooses to take that path is difficult. You feel guilty because you didn't stop them. You are upset with them for leaving, but mad at them for being so selfish. STOP!! 

You will never know what was going through their mind. Unresolved conflicts and chronic pain can wreak havoc on a person's emotional well-being. They have problems that only they can deal with.

While it may be hard to accept, you have to step back and put things in perspective. Their decision was theirs and theirs alone. While you may not like it, it wasn't your choice. It's important to acknowledge that and grieve your loss. Embrace your memories and cherish the time you had together.

Suicide is ugly. It's a thief that steals not only life, but joy. It is also something that happens without warning. Learn to be more present in the moment. Listen to your partner and find joy in every experience you can. It may not be your decision, but you can do everything you can to make their life better.

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